Total Drama Mansion
by Parody-lover
Summary: When the contestants are invited to stay at an old antique mansion for a reunion special, things might just go in over their heads when sabatoge, revenge, and a murder most foul come into play! Originally under Misc. Cartoons
1. A Prolouge and a Letter

Total Drama Mansion

Hey there all you people! This is my first multi-chapter TDI fanfic so please, be gentle. This is kind of inspired by the film, The Haunted Mansion, the board game Clue and all the other stereotypical mystery in creepy mansion films and shows. It is also a bit inspired by Megawacky Max's Fairly OddParent fic, Hint (It's a funny and well-written fic so I suggest reading it if you like FOP.

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way own TDI

This is kind of short, but I'll try to put up the first chapter as soon as I can!

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A Prologue and a Letter

On November 13 of 2007, just after TV's Total Drama Island ended, all of the contestants received an invitation in their mailbox that followed along the lines of this:

_Dear__ Contestant,_

_Although you may not have won TDI (please disregard comment if you are winner) the producers are cordially inviting you to spend two weeks at historic Stratford Mansion, of Waverly, for a reunion special scheduled to air sometimes this Christmas. There will__ be no challenges and this will allow you to reconnect with some of the other contestants. We look forward to seeing you there._

_Sincerely, Chris Maclean_

The letter was then followed by a fine print printed in excruciatingly small and fine (duh) print which went for all basic "don't blame us if bad things happen to you" agreements. Unfortunately for our campers bad things will happen: sabotage, revenge and a murder most foul! Who will be the unlucky victim? Will our guests live to regret their decision? And can this get any cheesier? All this will be answered in due time! (Cue evil laughter.)

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Originally I was going to just start right at the beginning of the story but decided this would be a pretty cool way to start and it helps fill in all the information needed beforehand. I'll try to update as soon as I can but I have other stories to work on too, not to mention schoolwork.


	2. And So it Begins

I'm back! And with the first chapter to Total Drama Mansion too.

Disclaimer: Now a word from the author, "I don't own TDI, plain as that, Kansas, on the other hand…"

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And So It Begins

It was one of those dark nights when you weren't sure if it was going to be stormy or not. Sure there were black, ominous clouds lingering in the sky but still, it hasn't started raining so I wouldn't call it a stormy night just yet. But I digress…

In a rolling, large charter bus, Bridgette stared with a serious face, as the bus drove along a deserted dirt road, "After a tough investigation, I've finally found the murderer. It was…" she paused for dramatic effect as some people gasped in anticipation, "Prof. Plum, in the library, with the wrench!'

"Darn it! That's the twelfth time you've won!" Geoff, in exasperation, threw his pencil and paper on the game board which was placed on the floor. In order to pass the time, some of the campers (though hereby they should be known as guests, since, obviously they won't be camping) decided to play a game of Clue. Bridgette, as Geoff had explained, had been winning continuously, although it's not surprising seeing as how A) she's on the Honour Roll, B) she's quite the logical observer, and C) two of the three people she's been playing against was Geoff and Lindsay (who up to that point had yelled five Yangtzes, two Bingos and one Jumanji.)

"I demand a do-over," Courtney, as competitive as she is, didn't take losing twelve times very well.

"Come on Courtney, we've been playing for so long! Can't we just go do something else?" Bridgette, although loving the fact that she's been winning, had grown tired of the game. Her sentiments were proven shared when Geoff also nodded in agreement, Lindsay was busy playing with her hair.

"Not until I win! And not because you let me win either1"

"Then you'll be playing for eternity!" That comment came from Duncan, who although had semi-hooked up with Courtney, still liked to take a few jabs at her now and then. He had been busy carving a skull out of a block of wood. Everyone else was busy in their own little world: Trent was strumming on his guitar, Gwen was drawing and Izzy and Owen were busy with their own game of Canastas. Cody was busy reading a book he'd found on the Stratford family and had suddenly whistled in impress.

"Wow, did you guys know that the Stratford Mansion is considered one of the most haunted mansions in Canada?"

"W..Wh...Why is that?" asked DJ.

"Says here that there were quite a few unexpected deaths in the family, you know, murder, suicide, unrequited love. Left behind a curse according to the book"

"Yeah right, there's no such thing as ghost." Heather had joined in on the conversation seeing as how she had nothing better to do.

"I wouldn't be so sure." The eerie bus driver, who had been, well, driving the bus, had started talking in a slow, dreary voice, "I've heard of stories you know, disappearing cars on this road, visitors getting killed. You'll have to be crazy to work or drive anywhere near that place!"

"Then why are you driving the bus that specifically caters to transporting people here?' asked Gwen blandly.

The eerie bus driver took a sip of coffee from his travel mug and said, I've already seen enough ghost and horrible deaths in my time to expect the unexpected." He chuckled in a crazy way, not the real psychopathic way, more of a subtle insane way. The teens eyed each other nervously; wondering if they'll ever get off the bus alive with this guy, save Izzy of course who responded with an impressed, "cool."

After a few minutes of awkward silence the bus drove up to a large antique mansion complete with its own private lake in front of the large four story 19th century mansion. The tall iron gate had been opened and so the bus continued to move, passing Stratford Lake (where young Emily Stratford had drowned, as Cody explained; he was consequently told to "shut up.") The bus finally stopped near the mansion's door way. All the guests hurriedly got their things and climbed off the bus, in order to get a clear view of the mansion, and also to get away from the bus driver.

"Well, this is my stop, you kids have fun. Good luck…" everyone turned to see him close the doors to the bus, "…you'll need it." With that the bus drove away.

Suddenly, lightning appeared out of nowhere and soon it started to rain. Everyone ran under towards the door, where above it was a little covering to keep them dry. When Cody was about to use the lion head knocker, the door swung open, revealing Chris, showing off his bright teeth by smiling.

"Good, you're finally here, come on in and dry yourselves off."

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That's all for today unfortunately, but I'll try to update as fast as I can. Also, for those who can't imagine the mansion think of the mansion form the movie "The Haunted Mansion." That's where I got my inspiration.


	3. Not Exactly Paradise

Hey, hey! This is Parody-lover, coming at you with another chapter. I'll like to say thanks to Nickelbackgirl.001 and TheUnspokenArtist for their awesome reviews and for helping me get off my lazy butt and start typing again! This is dedicated to you guys! Enjoy!

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Not Exactly Paradise

"Welcome guests," Chris started with a flamboyant flare, "to historic Stratford Mansion, your home for the next week or so." The guests stared at the massive entrance room, complete with antique decorations, and cobwebs. It wasn't paradise, but the vast amount of cultural artifacts, 19th century craftsmanship, and historic stories within the walls made up for it. Plus, compared to the camp, this was a five star hotel.

"Whoa," Cody had started admiring the workmanship, everyone else was speechless, save Heather.

"Excuse me, Chris? But are there actually people like butlers who will be serving us?"

"Nope, this place been abandoned for years, but Chef here will be acting as butler," Chris gestured to Chef, standing at the top of the mahogany stairs, outfitted in the stereotypical butler uniform (hey, just be glad he isn't in a maid outfit, _shudders_.)

"He won't be cooking, will he?" Owen asked, with everyone hoping the answer will be no.

"Lucky for you, the producers decided to give you guys a break, a catering company dropped off enough pre-made food to last us for awhile." Everyone sighed in relief. "Now, everyone will be their own room, and, instead of organizing it first, I thought it would be best to see you guys claw each others eyes out for the best rooms, go go go!"

Like elephants startled by gunshots, a stampede of guests ran up the stairs, trampling Chef in the process. Cody, whose book had a detailed map of the house seemed to have a good advantage, that is until Duncan yanked it from him. In the end though, Duncan got the lavishly decorated room with a nice view and that was just a hop, skip and a step from the washroom, it could be good or bad, depending on whether Owen used it, and, while Lindsay was supposed to have the four post king-sized bed, she happily gave it to a fist welding Eva. Everyone else got hotel like rooms, but they were happy about it, well most of them.

"Alright guests, grade A trampling back there! Dinner will be served at six, in the meanwhile, why don't you guys go on and explore around for a bit. You dig?" Chris walked off with Chef, while talking to him, "Man, did you see those guys? Now that's how you get good ratings…"

"Argh! I hate that guy!" Heather stated as she too walked sown the stairs.

"For once I agree with you, he's definitely gonna get it one day," Leshawna remarked.

"Yeah, that dude seriously needs to treat people better," Geoff chimed in.

"Diner at six? I'm already hungry!" Owen yelled, breaking the chain of criticism. He walked off, most obviously going to the kitchen. Everyone else decided to explore the mansion, as it would have been incredibly stupid to go outside, since lightening flashed across the sky.

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Cody, who somehow managed to get his book back, had started reading it again, and walked around to all the sights that the mansion had to offer. He entered the library, where he found Courtney playing chess with Bridgette, (having lost Clue twelve times in a row, she challenged Bridgette to a game.) Duncan and Geoff were watching, partially because they wanted to be around their respective crushes, and partially because they had nothing better to do and Courtney's competitive attitude was very entertaining.

"Checkmate," Bridgette knocked down Courtney's king, much to Courtney's dismay.

"How about we play again?"

"How about no," Bridgette replied, not wanting to hurt her feelings, but was getting slightly annoyed.

"What about checkers? Or Chinese checkers? I play a mean game of Scrabble too!"

"Maybe we should play charades, that way we can all join in," suggested Bridgette.

"Sounds good," Geoff noticed Cody at the door, "hey, you wanna join dude?"

"No thanks, there's this room I really want to check out."

"Suit yourself."

Cody left the room and headed towards the game room, but not before hearing Courtney arguing to her teammate, Duncan, "how was I supposed to know that that meant Wawanakwa? How do you even act out Wawanakwa?"

As Cody passed by the game room he saw Harold trying to show off his "master" pool skills to Leshawna, he also noticed a broken lamp on the floor too. Gwen and Trent were busy with their game of darts. _At least it isn't Izzy who's playing_, thought Cody.

Suddenly a scream rang out through the halls, and everyone tried to find out where it was coming from. As everyone one ran towards the dining room, they saw DJ, panting at the door.

"It's Chris, he's been tucked in with a shovel!" He was met with blank stares.

" Had his ticket punched?" he suggested, and again he was met more blank stares.

"Killed!" DJ finally exclaimed, everyone gasped and the storm outside seemed to be getting worst. As the guests stood still, shocked, the clock chimed six times.

"It's six o'clock, time for dinner! Woo Hoo!" Owen shouted only have people staring at him, "I mean, gasp, Chris is dead? But seriously this isn't going to delay dinner is it?" He was pushed aside as the guest clamored into the dining room where a blue Chris was sitting in a chair, his face in a bowl of soup.

"Is he dead?" asked Beth cautiously.

"Gee, what gave you that idea? The lifeless look or the unmoving body?" Heather remarked sarcastically.

"Actually, he's not dead, yet," Duncan took his time to examine the body, "I can still feel his pulse."

"How is that possible?"

"Someone must have poisoned the soup, intending to kill him, but only placed enough to knock him out and give him a really bad cold. He won't be killed and if we can find the antidote soon he'll be good as new, but he'll be knocked out for hours, maybe even days."

"But we heard a scream!" exclaimed Trent.

"Yeah, that was me, sorry guys," explained DJ.

"Wait, but you said someone poisoned the soup, so that must mean one of us attempted to murder him!" observed Noah.

"Which means that one of us is an attempted murderer!" Courtney added, stating the obvious.

"This sounds just like that movie I saw, you know, the one where the killer silently stalks and kills everyone at this abandoned house. Oh my god, we're going to die! I gotta get out of here!" Tyler made a run for it, but was stopped short with DJ restraining him.

"Even if you did run, you'll never be able to get out of here. The storm raised Stratford Lake, which flooded the entire road," Chef explained, having just looked out the window.

"You mean we're stuck here for god knows how long with an almost killer?' asked Katie who, in fear, had clung on to Sadie.

" Looks like it."

"We're doomed!" Tyler exclaimed, while considering jumping out the window.

Mad hysteria was taking over, as people started to eye each other in suspicion, or, in a more realistic term, extreme paranoia. Gwen finally had enough and headed to the front of the crowd.

"Look, let's just face facts, one of us tried to kill Chris, and everyone one of us here has a similar motive in doing it."

"Pure, acknowledged hatred?' suggested Duncan half-jokingly.

"Exactly, and while I hated him too, attempted murder's not right. So I say we should find out who did this and bring him or her to justice!"

"Gwen's right," Bridgette had walked over to Gwen in support, "and even though I'm not a religious person, I'll just this say this, under the eyes of God, I'll give whoever did this a chance to redeem themselves and clear their conscience. Tell us who did it and I promise, people will be merciful."

"She/he did it!" shouted everybody, pointing at everyone else.

"This is not going to be easy," commented Bridgette.

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And the plot thickens! Thanks to all those who read and reviewed my work, kudos to you all! Yes I know I said that they'll be a murder, but I decided to change it at the last minute for a new idea, plot wise. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted, but it's not going to be as dramatic as this one, and expect a film noir parody soon with a certain fellow who has a habit of narrating everything he does. Good night and good luck!


	4. Owen Noir

Seeing as how my newest chapter has been well-received, I figured I'll jump start on this chapter. Thanks to all those that reviewed: I love you guys, (but in a platonic way of course.) This chapter will especially be fun if you're a fan of old film noirs.

Disclaimer: I do not own TDI, not in sickness or health, nor in richer or poorer…

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Owen Noir

Owen was busy in his room, if you call lying on the bed reading Dick Tracy comics busy. Every other guests had retreated to their own little private place, each carefully watching their backs in case the would- be killer should decide that their life was expendable. Chris, after making sure he hadn't drowned in the soup, was moved to the couch in the parlour by DJ and Geoff (at first Tyler and Harold volunteered but after dropping him about five times they decided to get someone else.)

"Someone nearly tried to kill Chris, and now would be the great time to try out my detective skills," Owen, after leaving the island had developed a love for hard core PI mysteries and even brought a fedora and trench coat to the house. He walked towards the large mirror, and threw on the trench coat and fedora to see how he looked. As he put on the fedora, Owen started to go into his little imagination; everything had turned black and white, and slow jazz music could be heard. Then, much like he had before, he started talking to himself (note: all Owen narrative will be in _italics_ got it?)

_The world is filled with unsavoury characters, but who would have thought that there could be one in this very house…besides Heather. It's up to me to solve this mystery, or my name isn't Owen, PI_.

Owen walked out of his room and proceeded to go down the hall, he had everything he needed: the look, the mystery, the overly clichéd atmosphere, but even Sherlock Holmes had Watson and Owen needed someone who would help him organize the clues. Someone dependant, someone loyal, some one who's over-eager so that he would look cool in comparison, someone like…

"Cody!" Owen had bumped into him when he was too busy looking through a magnifying glass, "wow, you look good in black and white."

"Huh?"

"Never mind, listen kid, I need someone who I can depend on and help me do all that number counting thing you do, I think it's called math. You in?"

"Sure, we'll be like Starsky and Hutch, or … wait, did you just call me kid?"

"Just follow me," _I finally had found __my __sidekick, now it's just time to work my __gumshoe __magic and see whodunit._

"Why ...are you talking to yourself?" Cody asked, eyeing Owen worryingly and slightly regretting partnering up with him.

_Ignoring my partner's comments we kept walking till we reached __a room, and then I saw her. The girl with a voice of a symphony music piece…_

"Owen! What the heck are you doing?"

_...p__layed by the orchestra of blind monkeys. There was Heather, the gal most likely to __have people try on cement shoes (__if you know what I mean__, minding her own business with Lindsay, or is there something more devious going on?_

"What were you doing on the fifth of December?" Owen blurted, randomly, I might add, in a commanding voice.

"Excuse me?" retorted Heather, sending a glare in his direction. Cody quickly slid up between them.

"Uh, what I think he meant was, where were you at the time of Chris' poisoning?"

"You think I did it? Please, I might have hated him but I would never try to kill someone. Besides, I was in the east hallway trying to find some room service around here. Lindsay can back me up on that, we crossed paths when I went into the kitchen and I left before she did. "

"Is this true?"

"Totally, I mean, sure Heather's a backstabbing, two-faced…"

"I think I know what you're going to say, so no need to say _that_ again."

"Okay, but it's true, I did see her enter the kitchen," there was a brief pause, "We're talking about Heather right?"

_So the girl wasn't __the sharpest knife in the drawer, but sometimes, it's the pretty ones that get you._

"Hey, Owen's right," realized Cody, who had gotten used to Owen's narration, "Lindsay, after Heather left, what did you do?'

"Well," Lindsay started, trying to remember what she did, this could take a while, "oh, I remember! After Heather left, I started to get hungry, so I left the kitchen to go find the fridge."

"Wait a minute, you left the _kitchen_, to go find the _fridge_?" Owen asked, in disbelief.

"So?"

"Okay, we're done questioning you now, but we might be back." _I started to lead Cody out the door as he reviewed the notes he took, when I heard them say the impossible._

"You know if you ask me, I think it was Psycho Hose-beast who did it."

"You mean Izzy?"

"Yes, I mean, she's a complete lunatic! Why wouldn't she do it?"

"Oh," stated Lindsay, "by the way did you happen to hear jazz music when Owen was in here?"

"I know, what's up with that? It's freaky."

_Could it be? Do I dare question the most beautiful dame I've ever met? And I never say dame unless oblig__at__ed to in a film noir parody._

"Um, Owen, is their anything you need, like, medical help?" Cody asked, slightly worried about his partner.

"Just three things: a clue, a motive, and a would-be murderer!"

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For all those who saw the 6Teen epi, 2-4-1, the jazz music gag is sort of a tribute to the joke from that episode, where music is heard every time you see Vince. That gag will appear in a later chapter too. I always wanted to write a hard core detective novel, this is the next best thing. Might be a while till the next chapter though, ah well, read and review people!


	5. Meanwhile, Back In Reality

Hello again, and thank you everyone for all the reviews! Even though there are only a few reviewers, I'm content. : ) Anyways, here's another chapter coming at you!

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Meanwhile Back In Reality…

The rain was still pouring down and pelting the windows as Courtney, Duncan, Geoff and Bridgette congregated at the library in the regular, multi-coloured world.

"Okay, so we all know one thing: since Courtney was busy challenging Bridgette to game almost every game in existence since we got here," Courtney frowned at that remark, "and Geoff and I were with you girls all the time, we can rule each other out as Chris' "killer"."

"Right, so seeing as how we know we're innocent, I think we should combine our strengths and find out who tried to kill Chris!" Geoff suggested.

"Great idea! But first things first, we need to make a list of our top suspects," concluded Courtney, who, once in leader mode, had a hard time at stopping.

"Well, I say we should put Eva down. She has some anger issues, and that's not hard to miss," Bridgette supplied, for obvious reasons, "she could have lost her temper and done something irrational."

After a few minutes a discussion, and an argument between Duncan and Courtney (like that's surprising,) the top three people on the list were Heather, Izzy, and Eva. Geoff, who was the note taker, suddenly had an attentive look on his face, "Hey, does anyone else hear jazz music?"

_And there I saw them, the quartet of friends, or maybe,__ just maybe,__ a quartet of partners-in-crime!_

"Uh, dude, we can hear you from over here!" shouted Duncan towards Owen, standing near the entrance of the library.

"Darn it!"

"Maybe we should interrogate them later, I passed by them earlier before Chris was poisoned, so I think they have a pretty good alibi," suggested Cody, who after much thought decided not to point out that _a quartet of partners-in-crime_ did not make much sense.

"Alrighty then," Owen walked away from the four, but soon poked his head back in, "but this doesn't mean you're clear yet!" Making a dramatic exit, Owen accidently tripped, and a distinct ow could be heard as the four were left to wonder exactly what had happened.

"Man, that guy is weird."

"Tell me about it."

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Owen, after, getting off of Cody, walked into the parlour, where they saw Noah, the schemer, writing something while sitting besides the couch which was currently housing Chris, nonchalantly.

_Perhaps too nonchalantly._

"Haven't you people ever heard of knocking?"

"We'll be doing the question asking around here!" Owen proclaimed dramatically, "and yes, my mom did teach me to knock."

Cody decided to do the interrogation this time, after seeing what had happened last time, "Is it true that you had outwardly expressed hatred towards Chris?"

"Yes"

"And that you have verbally threatened him before?"

"Not seriously, but yeah, I would say so."

"And, what were you doing at the time of Chris' poisoning?"

"I was in the washroom, inspecting to see if it was clean or not," Noah explained, with a slightly snide air.

"Is there any proof?"

"No, how could there be?"

"What about other witnesses?"

"Truthfully, no"

Owen pulled Cody off to the side and whispered quietly, "Hm, his alibi seems airtight, and I can't really see a motive right now," Cody decided not to comment, "but still, he's the third suspicious character we've questioned, and the third guy is always a littler fishier. It's been proven as a fact!"

Noah walked towards the parlour door, indicating that he didn't want people bothering him right now, "Besides, with my superior brains, I've figured out who did it already."

"What! Why didn't you tell us?"

"It was fun watching you morons run around pretending to be ace detectives, but anyways, enough of this, the would be murderer is obviously..."

Suddenly, almost in a stereotypical fashion, a gloved hand with a candlestick appeared from the edge of the door and knocked (to put it mildly) Noah out cold. Owen and Cody ran towards the door, but the culprit had already dropped the candlestick and made a fast turn around the corner of the hall. Owen stared at the now empty hallway, then to Cody, then the candlestick and then to an unconscious Noah.

_So much for the rule of three._

People crowded around Noah as Geoff and DJ carried him over to the other couch besides Chris.

"And that makes two," Duncan observed.

"And you're saying that you didn't see who it was?" Bridgette was asking Owen and Cody questions.

"No, just the hands which were gloved," Cody explained.

"I see, and what colour were those gloves?"

"Black, if I remember correctly."

"Okay, things are getting a little too heavy around here," remarked Trent while eyeing Izzy, who poked at Noah, as if expecting to see him do a trick.

"Well, one thing we're almost certain is that the culprit might be the same person who did this to Chris," Bridgette pointed to Chris, still unconscious and looking like he could really use a makeover.

"What do you mean by might? And almost certain?"

"Well..."

"First rule of being a detective," spoke Owen, cutting Bridgette off completely, "is to expect the unexpected. Unless of course what you don't expect is the expected in which case you should expect the expected. But then again, if you do expect the unexpected does that mean the unexpected is now the expected?" He put his hands on the temples of his head, "oh, my brain hurts now."

Everyone turned to look at Bridgette to see what she had to say, since, it couldn't get more confusing than what Owen had said.

"Well, as I was saying, Sherlock Holmes once said..."

"To expect the unexpected?' suggested Owen.

"Maybe, I'm not sure, but anyways what I was going to say was that he said that, "when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." And since there's other possibilities that we haven't ruled out yet we can't say for certain unless we have absolute proof."

"But still, watch your back because now there's one less suspect," LeShawna observed and warned, while everyone proceeded to eye each other in the same paranoid fashion when they had discovered Chris.

"Unless of course, in a strange twist of hilarious events, Noah was the actually dude who tried to kill Chris," Geoff said, trying to lighten the mood. However, no one really knew how that would have been some hilarious events.

People were flowing out of the parlour, some even walking backwards so that they could get a good view of everyone else as they were going out. This caused a bit of a pile up when Katie tripped and knocked down Sadie, who consequently knocked down Heather who knocked down... well you get the picture, it was one big mess, but that was soon sorted out when only Courtney, Geoff, Bridgette and Duncan were left.

"Alright, so we all know the plan: Duncan and I will go question Sadie, Katie and Izzy while Geoff, you and Bridgette go find Eva."

"Got it!"

"Right, we all meet back here around nine. Let's go." And with that the four had become two pairs.

"Okay I heard that Eva was going up to the attic to weight lift in peace and quiet," Geoff said. Bridgette, who, after having a rocky friendship with Eva on the island, did not particularly like the fact that they would be questioning her in a place with lots of heavy, and most likely painful when thrown at you, weights, but, she had a mystery to solve and decided to toughen up.

"Right, and how are we going to get up to the attic?'

"Cody said that this place has an antique elevator somewhere. Hey, I see it!" They both got onto the lift and Geoff shut the barred golden metal fence-door shut. From the side, the it looked more like a cage than an elevator. Before pulling the lever to go up, however, he noticed Bridgette's uneasy look on her face.

"Relax, Cody assured me that these elevators work, and I'll be right there beside you when we're questioning Eva. You can count on me. Feel any better?"

"Thanks," Bridgette smiled at Geoff and he smiled back, it would have been a really sweet and tender moment too if Harold hadn't stepped in.

"You guys gonna use the elevators?" Harold was subsequently slapped in the arm by Leshawna.

"Can't you see those two were having a moment?"

"It's okay, we can give you guys a lift, literally." Geoff opened up the doors again and the two stepped in.

"So, what are you guys doing here?'

"Darn cell phone can't seem to get a reception so we're seeing if higher ground will do any good. You?"

"Questioning Eva," the group had already questioned Harold and believed he had a good alibi, but beliefs are sometimes wrong...

"Makes sense, that girl seriously needs some anger management," Leshawna commented, no one had really interrogated Leshawna yet so Bridgette was still keeping her wits about her, "in fact, Harold and I will back you guys up."

"We/ You will?" commented Harold and Bridgette at the same time. Harold was a bit afraid of Eva (actually, who isn't?) and so was beginning to feel slightly nervous. Bridgette couldn't decide if she should be feeling relieved that more people will be there with Geoff and herself, or disappointed for the exact same reason.

"Going up!" Geoff began to pull the lever and elevator had started moving.

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Well, can you say plot twist? I hope you guys don't kill me for that stunt I pulled, LOL. Added a little romance in there between Geoff and Bridgette, but when it comes to love in my story, that's about as much as you'll ever get from me. I'm not much of a romance writer, but I do put in subtle hints now and then. Might be a while before the next chapter but up next, Eva's interrogation, Izzy's interrogation, and maybe something to do with Chef. Read and review please.


	6. The Good The Bad and The Crazy

Well, after a short break, I think it's a good time to start typing again! So here's a little present for the holidays.

Disclaimer: I think you know what goes on here…

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The Good, The Bad, and the Crazy

The ride up to the attic was not as bad as some people would believe if hearing this story, granted, it creaked, was cramped and one of the riders could be a dangerous psycho but still. As the so-called "elevator" came to a screeching halt, the quartet got off gladly and proceeded to walk down the hall and up the small retractable wooden ladder to the dusty attic where you could hear Eva counting.

"One hundred eighty-six, one hundred eighty-seven…"

After a few moments when it was obvious she didn't know they were there Geoff decided to get her attention by clearing his throat. To actually yell at her would be reminiscent of waking up a sleeping cougar.

'What do you want?"

"Nothing, in fact we'll just be going now," Harold, feeling a little intimidated (that being mildly put) tried to make a run for the ladder but Leshawna grabbed him by the shirt tail.

"Actually, we're here to ask a few questions."

"What kind of questions?"

Everyone looked at Geoff and Bridgette, since they were the ones who originally wanted to interrogate Eva anyways. Clearing her throat, Bridgette decided to start.

"Well, questions like where were you during Chris' poisoning?"

Eva's eyes flared and responded angrily, "Are you suspecting me? I didn't do it."

"Well, you do get easily angry sometimes," Harold explained blatantly. The next thing he knew, he was on his knees, after getting punched in the stomach, "Argh! Watch it! Harry Houdini died liked this! Right, I have a gut feeling she's innocent…" (Sorry for the pun)

"Hey, who do you think you are going on some power tripping spree?" Leshawna said up to her face as she helped Harold up. Eva glared, and the intensity of the room was so thick you could slice it with a butter knife.

A catfight was almost imminent, however Bridgette noticed something peculiar sticking out of Eva's gym bag and before Eva tried to claw Leshawna's eyes out, said quickly, "Um, that's all for right now. Thanks, Eva." With that, she ushered her friends down the ladder, though Harold needed some help getting down. When the group reached the floor Bridgette said, "Leshawna, why don't you take Harold to find some first aid."

"What about you two?"

"Oh, we'll just be around looking for clues," as Leshawna helped Harold into the elevator, Bridgette looked at Geoff and explained, "Geoff, did you noticed anything special about Eva's gym bag?"

"No, not really"

"There was a pair of black gloves sticking out of them!"

"So you're saying that Eva might be the one who hit Noah?"

"I'm not sure, but we're going to have to keep a very close eye on Eva…"

Meanwhile a few levels down, Duncan and Courtney came out of the dining room, after questioning Sadie and Katie.

"That's it, I will never, ever talk to Katie and Sadie again if I can!"

"Come on Duncan, there not so bad."

"Oh yeah, they're so annoying! And when they laugh they sound like helium filled dolphins!"

"Good point," Courtney looked down on the notes she took just a few minutes before, "at least we're pretty sure those two didn't do anything." Suddenly, Duncan pulled her to the side and motioned that she should be quiet.

"Shh! Look, there's Chef," he whispered, and indeed there was Chef, roaming the halls like a patrol officer on duty. Suddenly, Courtney realized something.

"Duncan look, he's wearing black gloves!" Duncan was about comment, but stopped short when Chef perked up and looked around. Thinking it was just his imagination, he shrugged and walked off leaving Courtney and Duncan in high suspicion.

"Okay, why don't interview Izzy first, then check up on Chef?"

"Well, they're both equally dangerous, but sure," quipped Duncan. Soon enough they managed to track down Izzy in the kitchen, making herself a sandwich… with stuff would put Chef's food to shame in disgustingness.

"So you want to know the truth eh? Well you can't handle the truth and you'll never take me alive!" Izzy yelled at the top of her lungs and while swinging the bread knife wildly around but then she suddenly calmed down, "sorry, I've always wanted to say that while being interrogated… not that I've been interrogated before. I mean, sure I've blown up the RCMP's kitchen but that was, like, just by accident and wow, you've ever noticed how good a fishcake sandwich taste like…"

Izzy just went on and on with her rambling as Duncan and Courtney looked at each other silently, then back at Izzy as she kept waving the knife as if she was a conductor, trying to add emphasis on her nonsensical speech. Courtney decided to try her hand at calming her down.

"Um, Izzy, can you tell us how you feel about Chris?"

"Chris? Oh, that guy! Yeah, I think he is a total psycho! I mean he was like jump off this and dive into that and wow I just wish I could kill him!" With that she drove the knife into the kitchen counter, startling the two detectives.

"Okay," Duncan started slowly, "we'll be in touch." The two quickly high-tailed it, leaving Izzy alone.

" Wait! Don't you want to hear about that time I was in school and I seriously blew up the English room? Man, that was fun! I should do that again sometimes, after the school nulls its restraining order against me of course…"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's all for now, shorter than usual and in my opinion not as good but I'm starting to hit a rut with this one. CURSE YOU WRITER'S BLOCK! Hopefully I'll finish it soon. I have a few other stories in my head right now, inspired by my sudden fascination with the game Uncharted: Drake's Fortune (blatant product placement alert!) and action adventure explorer movies. If yoou have any suggestions or ideas feel free to inspire me!


	7. The End! Almost

Yes, after a LONG hiatus I've decided to finally end this thing once and for all with a clichéd ending!

**The End! Almost...**

The fire in the fireplace shone brightly as everyone sat quietly on whatever furniture they could find. After a complete and insightful investigation, Owen decided to call everyone in for one final drama filled question blowout. I would tell you about Owen's investigation, but now's not the time, although something hilarious did happen but I'll tell you about that later. But seriously, it was funny, Cody found this lever to this trapdoor and after a while both he and Owen wounded up falling off the roof of the mansion. Darn it! Why do I keep accidentally telling people this story?! I mean, anyways...

"I see that everyone found their way here. Okay then, I suppose you know why you're all here?" Owen started as he paced around the room and everyone else started to get a glass filled with pop for themselves.

"No, we don't, please enlighten us," Heather commented sarcastically while eying Noah's still unconscious body. Owen decided to ignore that comment and raised his glass up.

"Guys, I have a toast," he started, trying to sound sophisticated, "to our fallen host, Chris Maclean. I have three things to say, one: someone had obviously tried to murder him. Two: in retrospect, it really wasn't that surprising, and three: with the sudden event of Noah's attack, it is obvious that our attempted murderer is challenging us. Maybe a battle of brains, if you will. Well I say, bring it on, cause I am hot on your trail. So here's a toast for our little murderer: crafty manipulator, evil genius, or psychopath? We'll so find out. Thank you," Owen, along with the rest of the people, started to tip their glasses for a drink.

"Wait!" Bridgette shouts as she gets up. "Point four: this pop is poisoned!" With that she threw the drink out of her glass onto a hanging decorative carpet, where a hole immediately appears.

"Ah! Odourless, tasteless, acid," exclaims Duncan as he quickly drops his glass.

"Bridgette, you saved our lives," commented Beth, "but how did you know it was poisoned?"

Without saying a word Bridgette points to the mantle of the fireplace. Sitting on it was a bottle with the words POISON written on it with blood red ink.

"Oh, well that helps."

"Seems like somebody's trying to knock us all off, eh?" commented Ezekiel, feeling that he should really be included more often.

"Well, this certainly changes a few things. Everyone back to their rooms and lock the doors, I'm sure I'll crack this case very soon, I have a suspect, a motive, now all I need is more proof. 

Goodnight and watch your backs people," Owen said as he exited leaving the apprehensive and jumpy others to wonder who Owen had in mind.

"All I'm saying is that Heather is unusually quiet these days," Leshawna commented to Harold. They were in Leshawna's room discussing to on each other's theories. Suddenly, they heard two screams ring into their room.

"That sounded like Katie and Sadie!" Leshawna realized, "we have to help them."

"Well, there goes my suspects," Harold said as he turned the knob, "wait a minute the doors jammed, we can't get out!" He paused, "do you hear what I think I hear?" He followed the trance of a beeping noise they heard suddenly and, opened the closet, revealing a bomb with red numbers counting down from forty.

"A bomb? We're going to die because of some typical movie twist!? This is so not right!" Leshawna yelled.

"Wait, there's note on it," Harold was right, taped to the bomb was a small sheet of paper with the following words written.

_Clichés are all one and the same,_

_But sometimes they're the ones to blame_

"Eva's a freak, she's a ticking time bomb waiting to explode," Gwen said to Trent, not really veiling her idea on who the murderer was.

"True, but she does seem slightly mellower. She hasn't threatened Bridgette a lot yet."

"Still, I don't trust her and I don't entirely feel comfortable around her."

"You know, when I got a closer look at Chris, the shoulder area of his shirt was slightly ripped, almost like someone was handling him while trying to hold something sharp like a knife or a hook."

"But why would someone hold something sharp when he's already been poisoned?"

Trent was about to reply, when they too, heard a scream, this one was different though, it had a more masculine air, "It's Ezekiel! I recognise that thick prairie accent anywhere."

"The doors locked!" Gwen shouted as she tried in vain to open it.

"Hey you ever get the sinking feeling that you're well... sinking? Trent asked after a while, "because either the room's getting bigger or I'm getting shorter!"

"Quicksand!" Gwen finally realized as the two of them started sinking into the floor, "why would there be quicksand in a room?!"

"Well we are on the ground floor. Boy I have this weird sense of déjà vu."

"Not helping Trent!" Gwen snapped back.

"Hey, there's a note here." Indeed they too received a note, this one saying something else.

_Isn't it just one big stinker,_

_When in the end you've been hooked, lined and sinkered?_

"So, you actually have suspect, wow, that really surprises me," Cody remarked as Owen started pacing in his room.

"Indeed, now all I need is a few more proof and we'll bag that sucker!"

Cody was about to reply when he smelled something peculiar in the room, he tried opening the door for ventilation but found it to be stuck. Suddenly, his eyes widened as he realized what the smell was.

"Gas!" he shouted.

"Sorry," was Owen's response.

"No I mean gas as in poisonous gas. Someone's trying to kill us with poisonous gas!"

The whole room was suddenly filled with Owen screaming as he ran around like a chicken with its head cut off. He stopped thankfully when he tripped and fell, and noticed something.

"Hey, I found a note, look at this..."

_Follow your nose, one might say,_

_A clue or a tease, this goes both ways_

"Figured out anything yet, Bridge?" Geoff asked, hoping to be of some help.

"No, and that's what's worrying me. I keep having this strange feeling that something's missing, that we don't have all the puzzle pieces yet," Bridgette sighed and leaned against a table, "but I can't for the life of me figure out what. Geoff, what's going to happen to all of us?"

"My guess is that we get killed by those poisonous snakes and scorpions," a worried Geoff said.

"Geoff, what are you talking abou-" she abruptly saw the tens of scorpions and snakes that have somehow entered the room through a secret passage perhaps, and she and Geoff quickly got up on the same table, like castaways on a stranded island.

"Look, there's a note on the ceiling over there," Geoff quickly, but carefully jumped over to a nearby waist high drawer top, plucked the note from the ceiling and jumped back. It read:

_Elimination's a distraction, see,_

_It's what you don't have left that is the key_

--

Dun, dun dun, yes! This is the second last chapter, and the next one will answer all those questions that you're dying to have answered. Who will live? Who will die? Who's the culprit behind this all? And most importantly, will I have this updated before the suspense kills you, ha! kills you, get it?


	8. Murder By Death

It's finally done! I'm not kidding, how long has it taken a few months? Here the end in all of its ending glory! Now that my mind is at rest with this I'll be focusing more of UTDISP and TDRR

uMurder By Death /u

A shadowy and dark (well that's obvious) figure sat in a large red leather chair, back facing a grand window, which showed that the weather was still stormy, and his front facing a huge mahogany desk. On it was a sheet of paper with various names on it, which the mysterious person was crossing out with red ink (or maybe it's something else that's red muh ha ha!)

"Let's see, Leshawna and Harold…" the person chuckled evilly, "check."

"Don't cross us out yet, instead cross out your plan!" The Person quickly turned to the door, seeing Leshawna and a coughing Harold entering the room.

"You two? But how did you escape?"

"Well, it turns out Harold has a scout badge in bomb dismantling, so he found a way to unscrew the bomb and threw it out the window."

"There's still bomb smoke in my throat though," Harold said, coughing slightly.

The would be killer slapped his forehead, "Honestly, what don't the scouts teach anymore?!"

"I'll tell you what they do teach, how to catch a criminal…Chef Hatchet!" With that Leshawna threw on the light switch, revealing that indeed the mysterious person was Chef Hatchet. He grinned…evilly.

"Excellent work, but how on earth did you figure it out?"

"The clue you gave us: it said "iclichés are all one and the same/i" so I went back to the age old stereotype: "The Butler Did It," and you Hatchet were the butler."

"Very good," Hatchet said while nodding.

"Stop right there! He's not really Chef Hatchet, he's the hook-handed psycho that Gwen kicked in the face that one time on the show! "Trent and Gwen came hurrying into the room, leaving Leshawna and Harold confused beyond belief.

"Ah, even better, Trent," the phony Hatchet said as his voice changed and he ripped off a mask revealing the hook-handed killer, "But how did you escape the quicksand?"

"We didn't, turns out you calculated wrong and we actually sank into the basement, though the landing did hurt…a lot. Now prepare to get kicked in the face, again!"



"Not quite!" yelled Owen triumphantly as he and Cody ran into the room, "the would be murderer really is…Angela Brennan-Maclean-Dodson, the estranged ex-wife of Chris Maclean!"

The voice of the mysterious person changes again, this time into something more lady-like, "excellent, but how did you know?"

"Well, the clue told us to "follow our noses" and that triggered something inside my head," explained Cody, "the first few times I walked near Maclean's "body" I kept smelling this perfume fragrance and after Owen created a hole in the wall by accidentally running into it to let the poison out, I realized it was the perfume Le Pantalon Fancie. I spent a lot of time smelling that while trying to pick up girls at the perfume department in my hometown mall." He paused, realizing what he said. Knowing that there was no way he could erase what he said he continued, "Owen, having had gone to dinner with Maclean after he won, knew about Maclean's ex-wife when he told Owen about it after having a bit too much wine. Turns out his ex-wife owned the largest perfume-manufacturing company, their main perfume? Le Pantalon Fancie."

"Well, well, well, seems like there are a few smarties in this group after all," Angela said. She was about to continue when Geoff and Bridgette came in, panting.

"Hold it one second!" Geoff yelled as the two reached the center of the room.

"Stop everything!" Bridgette added as she tried to catch her breath, "the murderer isn't Angela, the ex-wife, the hook-handed psycho, or even Chef Hatcher!" The crowd gasped.

"But who is it then and how did you find out?" asked Gwen confused.

"I always had a feeling that something wasn't right, that something was missing," Bridgette said, "but is was only after Geoff found our clue that everything clicked. It read i Elimination's a distraction see, it's what you don't have that it the key/i"

"So?" asked Owen.

"So? It means that everyone, including me, have been trying to solve it in the completely wrong way! We've been so focused on crossing people off the list of suspects therefore, elimination is a distraction. We should've have been looking at people who couldn't have been suspects, it's what we don't have that is the key!"

"I'm still not following you." started Owen.

"Owen, you were right when you said "expect the unexpected". The would be murderer is the last person we'll ever suspect, the would be murderer is the thing we didn't have, the would-be murderer is…Chris Maclean!" She quickly pointed at Angela Brennan-Maclean-Dodson who by now was taking off "her" mask, revealing, who else but a smiling Chris Maclean.



"Congratulations, Bridgette and Geoff, you two have successfully solved the mystery all the way through!"

"Well, there goes my theory," Owen said as he looked down at the piece of paper where he wrote his suspect's name own. It said "CODY" on it in bold.

"Well, we kinda figured that it was suspicious that you would never do just a basic reunion special without some kind of catch." Geoff commented.

"But wait, what about those screams and what happened to everyone else?" Trent asked.

"Probably what happened with the horror movie challenge. The producers and other interns kidnapped them and placed them in a hidden room, right?" Gwen guessed.

"Bingo! And here they are now!"

Indeed, with a wave of his arm a giant bookcase swung open (missing Trent by a few millimeters) revealing all the "kidnapped" guests, as well as, to most people's surprise Noah, looking quite alive and conscious.

"Noah? You're awake? I thought that maybe Hatchet or Chris knocked you out because you figured out that this was all a cheap stunt to bring in more viewers," Cody remarked.

"Actually, the producers paid me five grand to pretend to be knocked out to amp up the tension," he explained quite calmly, putting a lot of emphasis on the five grand.

"You mean you sold us out dude? Not cool."

"Hey, it was five thousand dollars, wouldn't you have done it?"

"I see you're point."

"Okay, now that that's settled, all of you head back to bed and get a good night's sleep. There'll be an all you can eat breakfast buffet tomorrow, and I'll be doing a few interviews with some of you for the next remaining days," Chris said, and then he started laughing hysterically, "You guys have been great with this whole murder thing, the producers were thinking that you guys wouldn't fall for it but we finally went there, we went there and man, we never looked back! It was hilarious and I'm glad we went there!" He was still laughing when he walked out of the room, leaving the guests to also start to walk out back to their rooms, fuming.

Ezekiel watched as everyone started walking out, very confused, he asked, "wait, so there was no murder?"

"Yes there was," started Duncan, "this thing completely killed a good weekend."

--



And there you have it! Now, who saw that coming huh? Sorry if it's a bit confusing. Read and review!


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